Thought and Awareness

   We just completed a weekend retreat at the Swanwick Centre focusing on the teachings of J. Krishnamurti and entitled "Living Without Conflict".  We watched four videos of talks given at Brockwood Park, England, in 1982, had periods of quiet self-observation and reflection, and engaged in several dialogues or discussions.  One impression that arose was that there is often a lack of clarity regarding the difference between thought and awareness and the power - or lack of it - to create a shift or transformation in consciousness.  There seems often to be an unquestioned belief or assumption that transformation or significant change can be brought about by thinking differently, which creates the sense that we are acting differently and experiencing differently - and that we have "done" something to bring about this apparent change and can continue to "do" the same thing to bring about further change.  This assumption that we can "do" something, which implies the use of thought, actually keeps us functioning in the realm of ideas and concepts and it assumes that those thoughts are the source of the power to change, shift, or transform.  In fact, this type of functioning has very little power and the belief in it distracts us from acknowledging and nurturing the real source of the power to move into a deeper realization of the truth of what we really are and the potential to be and act in life - as life - in a fuller, more complete way.

   Where does the power to transform our lives come from?  Surely it comes from awareness - not from thought.  Awareness is that which witnesses, watches, observes all the movements of life, of thought and feeling, the formation of beliefs, the arising of the "I" or "me" idea, the concept of the "doer" who has to direct and control the unfoldment of his or her life.  This awareness is "passive" or "choiceless".  It is not doing anything;  it is just perceiving everything without evaluation or judgement that it should be one way or another.  It perceives even the judgements and evaluations that do arise.  And in this perceiving insight happens, understanding (without thought) the structures and workings of the mind, the feelings, the psychosomatic reality.  It is this perceiving and understanding that awakens the functioning of intelligence, which then spontaneously acts in a wholistic way in response to the challenges of life.  It seems rather than putting attention on attempting to think more effectively it would be far more effective to put attention on attention itself, or on the awareness which is our very nature, always present and available but often overlooked in favour of thinking and conceptualizing about our lives and our spiritual journey.  It seems the presence of awareness is often so taken for granted that we ignore its significance and power.  Without it nothing can be experienced or known, and yet we seem to forget about it's presence, like the hole in the donut.  Perhaps it is because of its very formlessness or invisibility that it is so easily overlooked, and yet it is the screen upon which all life appears and without which there can be no experience of life or ourselves at all.

   Krishnamurti suggests we be choicelessly or passively aware of all that appears in consciousness, that this is our starting point, "the first and last freedom".  In order to start with this awareness it must be here already, and we can confirm this by simply looking at the fact that we are perceiving at this very moment - and every moment that there is any consciousness at all.  We are aware not only of external objects but also of our body sensations, feelings, and thoughts, to whatever degree.

   Because we seem to be so habituated to overlooking the significance of awareness in favour of thinking and conceptualizing, it may at first take some intention or "effort" to remember to just be aware.  We may have to pay attention to paying attention.  But this attention becomes more natural for us and it dawns that awareness is choicelessly here, it is our very nature, and no further effort is required to bring it about.  And the more we allow that awareness itself to act in its own way, the more we experience its power and intelligence - the power of action in "non-action".  The grip of the thinking mind, with all its contradictions and conflicts, becomes weaker and weaker - except in the realm of practical tasks, where it  acts even more effectively than before, where needed.

  All this becomes more and more clear and apparent as the "tool" of choiceless awareness is taken up and employed and understanding, wisdom, or intelligence naturally arises.  This intelligence then guides and informs the process of making decisions and apparent choices in living.  More truly, awareness is not a tool we are using:  it is the essence of what we actually are, as far as words or concepts can pin it down.